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A pauper's jerkin scolds his proud shoulders and chest, featureless pantaloons maintaining his facade of modesty and humility.  Matted strands of mahogany frame his hollow features, insulted by the filth and forced age that permeate them.  Against his curved spine, beneath his tired flanks is rigid, unyielding oak fashioned into an armchair with high back and cushionless seat.

Across the small of his back, his frail wrists lie bound.  Above him, far above him, stands the force that put them there.

They are all of them sinners.  Each and every one a liar, a glutton, a scoundrel and a bitch.  From behind their armor of frills and frivolity, they cast down their judgment, rife with hypocrisy.  Of them all, none will identify the indulgence in brother, in neighbor, in husband or wife.  What powers they have, they instead fashion with them their wasteful quilt, so to blanket their fears of retribution in communal deceit.

Unfit to live; immortal despite.

What detestable beings they are, that they trust not even themselves to hold criminals in contempt.  As a whole, they are broken, unable to act; thus, one among them is empowered.  Dominion over the law, the state, the household; these are given to him, and he is trusted by the untrusting to see to their affairs.  Of and among them, he is god, for there lives no God among heathens.

With fire and false retribution, he too casts down his judgment.  Possessive of such fury, yet blind to how unfounded it is!  Guilty himself of unspeakable crimes, mirrored in those who uphold him, he is nonetheless the ardent deliverer.  Emblazoned about his magisterial robe: the word of man superimposed over the name of God.  In this, he is justified!  So great, so grand is this pillar of menfolk to which all must aspire!

Unholy, unsanctified, uncouth; these words he hurls upon the accused, and they are echoed by all present.  Totality of thought, of shared persuasion, ensconces him.  Though he wants not for one, there is and can be no escape from these falsified charges leveled upon him.  To each, he pleads guilty.  Guilty!  As if guilt is a weapon, to be so haplessly brandished by the unjust!

Chorus self-attuned, his final sentence is sang.  Resounding from the high walls, the grotesque reverie thus created does not affect the criminal.  To cry death, to shout and scream of it!  Convulsions take the onlookers as they hollow their lungs, exhausting their self-righteous souls, making light their minds and sacrificing their statures; spittle and sweat fly from the magister's violently taken features, and Hell bears down from his eyes, ignited along his judging forefinger, cast upon he who is deemed worthy of such fate.

To cry death, he bleeds raw his own throat, splitting his own tongue and lips, setting aflame his own eyes.

Two featureless guardsmen appear at the criminal's sides, a single arm brusquely hooked beneath each of his own, and drag him away to the cries and cheers of the townsfolk.  Women faint, overcome with mirth profane; men tear at themselves, barking their fierce and furious assent.  He does not struggle or shout, does not give further satisfaction to his condemners.

Brutish hands push him into the cold, sharp face of death.  The deed is already done; from this, no redemption can be had.  What words, the executioner asks, will he wear on his lips before God?

The answer is the only answer he can give.  The only one that is true and real and pure.  Those who hear it, infuriated, carry out his sentence ferociously and dirtily.  The death of a terrible criminal; the end of a villainous life.

That any among them may now rest easy.
©2008-2009 `eskirinabsolute
:iconeskirinabsolute:

Author's Comments

Among them, there were only few that, present at the time, could hear the words the criminal released instead of ruth. He spoke his name, confirming he was guilty of the crime. Ever since, the world has learned to execute the

Comments


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:iconwolfrug:
Your author's comments seem to be cut off there? An interesting place anyway to continue the story.

Very nice short story otherwise, nice use of the medieval-style religious mass-hypocrisy, as contrasted with a single man's own beliefs. A typical "he who is without sin may throw the first stone" situation - who are they to judge someone, when they too are so steeped in evil?

Which, of course, does not exactly make whatever crime our protagonist has committed any less bad, which is where the power of the whole piece comes from - who's standing on trial here really? Since it's never revealed what he's done (from simple blasphemy to mass murder?), it's hard not to sympathise with him though.

Then again, I sort of read it like our protagonist being a sort of religious fundamentalist, a medieval suicide bomber type of fellow, who basically commits all the same crimes of hypocrisy in condemning his condemnors, before being executed for some heinuous crime that he committed for the Kingdom of God.

=P Lovely little piece. Nice work!
:icontitos2k:
:)

--
[link] :0 and my English sucks
:iconobloquitor:
Holy fucking shit, Will.
:iconmkarr18:
It's kind of like the Gospel according to Kafka.
:iconjamberry-song:
Hmmm. Be careful of your adjectives, my dear. Especially in that first paragraph:

"A [pauper's] jerkin scolds his [proud] shoulders and chest, [featureless] pantaloons maintaining his facade of modesty and humility. [Matted] strands of mahogany frame his [hollow] features, insulted by the filth and [forced] age that permeate them. Against his [curved] spine, beneath his [tired] flanks is [rigid], [unyielding] oak fashioned into an armchair with [high] back and [cushionless] seat."

I don't think they're all unnecessary, but some of them can certainly be cut. Let's see... I think your images kind of get lost in the crush of language here. I think you could be a bit more concrete with it. I understand the voice and the style, but editing and curbing that even just a little will make this piece only stronger. Also, the exclamation points are WAY overused. The only place where the "!" seems appropriate is in the line "Guilty!" The rest seem awkward, like emphasizing the wrong note in a song. It reads a bit bizarrely and I don't think that's what you were going for.

Now, don't get me wrong - I really like the language, and the narrator's tone. The style is old fashioned and really suited to the subject matter you're tackling here. It just feels a bit rough and could use some refining.

(Hope that's helpful!) Best,

- jams :heart:

--
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:iconthesadandunreal:
I very much enjoyed this.

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July 18, 2008
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